Testing! One two...Bueller?

 

 

 

Testing out this new template...got a post working about before and after, but in a non traditional sense...gotta go...early morning coming

 

 

Midlife Crisis?

I dyed my hair pink...I might be having a midlife crisis. Hard to tell, I only dyed the front part. I haven't written as much lately, partly because I've been .........insert all the usual excuses, and partly because I'm trying to find a happy medium. Today is the first day of my life as an artist, so that's why I dyed my hair pink. Don't all artists have crazy hair? So I have already made arrangements for two craft fairs, as well as rooked my MIL into helping me. O.K. in her defense there was no rooking, she was excited to help, she's been pushing me in this direction for a long time. I have four and a half weeks to get ready for the first one, and I think I've made a good choice, as far as getting my feet wet. It's a small fair with a low table fee that's only been around for 7 years ( I think that's not very long for theses sorts of things) but as my husband says, and I think he's right, I need to do as many of these as I can do, until I pull my head out of my ass. You see my head has been up my ass for a very long time! Dying my hair will really help my husband catch me if I do it again! Oh! Help me look where I went. I haven't checked in, in a bit. I had my sister, father and nephews up for the weekend. My last day of work was yesterday, I registered for two craft fairs, and sent in a submission to be juried for a biggie craft fair, so nothing much is really going on. I've been planning on going back on the four hour body diet. Not only would I like to get my wardrobe back, but I figure I don't have enough going on! My daughter says my pink hair is "kinda weird"...hmmm! We're having a big family reunion/birthday party for my MIL this Saturday, and I'm going to have pink hair...tee hee. My husband and I decided that me trying to have an etsy store is folly! Just plain folly! I have some kind of issue with photographing my wares! I wonder if other artists have such issues! So once I get some of these festivals/fairs under my belt I figure if there's a need for it I'll just open a big cartel store, and that'll work out better. Big Cartel doesn't do any marketing, so really it's more like "I'm going to Jeanne John Jane to see what they have", rather than I'm going to look through Etsy for XYZ. Sometimes I feel like these posts are written to my mother, like I'm filling her in on what's new. Really theses sorts of posts are for posterity more than anything else. It gets me in a writing mood, and gets my juices flowing and my fingers working. Oh also...we're buying my in-laws house. We're all living together now, and in a few years when my in-laws retire, we will take over the house, so...given that, my decorating brain is in overdrive! I've put just a few things on my plate! Now the trick is to figure out how to be a stay at home Mom, who actually spends time with her kids! Tricky one! I slept in today till the baby got up, which actually was 7:30, but having gotten up at four am, 7:30 is sleeping in! Wow my life has changed. So I'm trying to figure out some kind of schedule, that has to be the only way to do this! I need time to write, and make my schtuff! I'm going to start keeping track of when I'm feeling more inspired/creative, and work around that schedule. Right now I have to go wash this pink dye out of my hair! Ciao Baby!

Just write, write, write!

It's amazing how much everything starts to become fodder for a story when you start paying attention. Somewhere in the midst of my search for writing tips, ( and I'm sorry I can't remember where I was when I found this tip...but I can't imagine it's not on a hundred different lists) I saw the tip of simply start paying attention to everything ( and one ) that you come in to contact with. It's as though I've turned on some sort of switch...everything I see and hear is giving me ideas for stories! The only problem...and I'm loathe to admit this...but I will. I'm having a crisis of ability. I feel like I can come up with these great stories, but I don't feel confident in my ability to write them. I have a feeling this is fairly normal though, and I know somewhere deep in my “knowing place” ( hee hee that sounds dirty...or is it just me) that is has more to do with just write write write. I know that the more you write the better you get at writing, or maybe that's too general...I know that the more I write, the better I will get. I can tell you that the more jewelry I make, the better I get at making it, so ...Sometimes there seems to be a series of switches in my brain, and all I have to do is turn them on. I know that might sound ridiculous, or pretentious or whatever ( there's a more cerebral way to put that I'm sure!...sorry I'm watching my daughter's shows with her...perhaps I shouldn't let her watch them...what are they doing to her brain?) When I get on what I call a “kick”, for example I'll decide I'm going to make my living making jewelry ( yeah no I haven't actually done that...more on that little tidbit later ) everywhere I turn I see things that give me ideas for jewelry. So much so that I can't keep up with the ideas...unfortunately I have an ego that puts the kibosh on any aspirations...yeah I'm working on that

Onward

So if you've been following me ( all of my five posts, or is it three) you may have noticed that I often just interject "onward".  So I thought I might talk a little bit about that little somethin'.  I am by nature a creative person, I can't help it.  I am also by nature an incredible optimist...something that has gotten me into trouble over the years.  It's hard to actually do things when you are busy dreaming about them.  I'm not kidding.  Really, I've been using my Pollyanna mindset to postpone actually realizing a lot of my dreams.  I feel pretty certain that if I can keep my optimism, and general faith in the universe that I will realize my dreams, while simultaneously developing better work habits, and better avoidance of avoidance techniques...ya like that?  No really, I am a skilled daydreamer, I can get distracted looking for some one's name ( like the handwriting analyst ), or a blog post I want to reference.  Sometimes I'll look at pinterest for inspiration, but you know what?  I don't need inspiration, I have trays and trays of beads, and all I have to do( if I don't want to work on one of the ten different projects I have unfinished at any given time) is just put some beads and wire together, and things start to design themselves.  I have three small children who seem to need me constantly, and never at the same time.  I simply don't have time to dick around...yet I do.  Mr.  Money Moustache has a blog post where he gives a list of 50 jobs that pay over 50k without a college degree.  He received a lot of flack for the list because they were jobs of which some were definitely not mainstream, like for example having a youtube channel.  Some of the jobs where also jobs that have traditionally been associated with "starving artists", writer, musician, that sort of thing.  In his defense of his list he pointed out that it is the writers, and musicians with the right attitude, that work hard, that are able to make a good living.  A large majority of the people who seemed to have issue with the list were talking about how those people got lucky etc.  Whereas Mr. Money Moustache pointed out that their "luck" happened because they had the right attitude and worked hard.  I've been having some trouble with the working hard part.   I know that my family might disagree...but I know that I could be doing more.  My greatest dream is to earn enough money that A. we can have, as a family basically anything we want/need ( which doesn't mean millionaire to me, it just means never thinking "can I afford this"?  Which is of course relative, but that's another post for another time) and B. Enough money so that my husband can try anything he wants.  So that he doesn't have to work for money, he can work for pleasure, or not at all.  You see my husband is one of those guys that people just want to kill, due to his ability to master basically any skill, should he decide that's what he wants...any sport, any instrument...yeah, it's irritating, but I've always had this secret daydream of making enough money so he could try any of those little "pipe dreams"  like becoming a studio musician, or a pro golfer, or he could take up acting again.  We both have theatre degrees.   So to that end...my beloved husband has given me the greatest gift, and that is...he sat me down a week ago and told me that I was going to quit my job, and pursue these creative dreams.  So I'm now going to put my request out to the universe...o.k. maybe not yet, cuz I just found that brooch that I bought the ink for and I'm just gonna real quick...that should be my middle name...just give me a sec...or I'm just gonna real quick!  Oy!
I'm gonna write...like no one is reading...cuz that is what this place is for...for me to just write and write, and not worry about whether or not anyone is reading or caring because this place is for me to develop my voice...so now I'm gonna write two letters to the universe.  Or perhaps I'll write one letter with two requests...Amanda Hocking did it here and I think we know how it worked out for her...originally my idea was to re post her post, but it's kind of hard to get in touch with her to ask permission.  The best I could muster ( and I'm sure I still sounded like a doofus ) was to comment on the post itself and ask her...needless to say I haven't heard back from her...someday I too will be hard to get a hold of...cuz ya' know I'll be travelling the globe and so busy!  I'm stalling can you tell?
Here goes...

Dear Universe,

I will be an astoundingly successful author.  I will write books that people love and I will get paid handsomely for it.  I know this will happen because I know that all I have to do is ask, and of course write the books.  I know that this will happen because I will write and write and write like no one is reading until someone is...and then more people will...and then they'll tell two friends ...and they'll tell two friends...and someday some young aspiring author will be reading the earlier posts of my blog and they will come upon this post and not only will they get the shampoo joke, but they'll be inspired by the fact that I believed in myself and I made it.  They'll read about how I believe that if anyone else did the thing that you want to do then there's no reason that you can't.  That even if no one has done the thing you want to do you can still make it happen if you just believe.  The four minute mile was a myth until some guy ( who I won't look up cuz I'll get distracted) decided that he would break it...and now a four minute mile doesn't raise eyebrows.  I'll because I will keep writing until I find my voice and I will keep finding ways to express my creativity, and as long as I stay true to myself, and do what I enjoy I will have the success I want.  So if Amanda Hocking wrote a book ( I forget which one...and no I won't go look it up, no offense Ms. Hocking, but ya' know I get distracted easily ) in a week of 9-14 hour days ( obviously she has no kids who want yet another slice of cheese) and Stephenie Meyer wrote twilight in 3 months ( she has cheese eaters!) I can write a book too!  Hopefully somewhere in the middle...I am going to keep writing and keep writing and keep writing until I figure out how to be amazing at it...and not end a sentence with a preposition.

So "onward" is my way of saying...get back on track...stop dilly dallying and keep moving forward...I'm like a shark baby!

 

Longhand flowing...

(This post was originally written, longhand, in my notebook in an experiment of sorts...I'm just now getting to type it, or at least I'm trying, the little one is grabbing my hand...it is July 31...lets see if I get this done.)

July 25
I have to say I really enjoy writing longhand. Call me old fashioned but there's something about the flourish of the pen ( or in my case pencil...my instrument of choice ) that is romantic? It evokes, in me...the idea of the long lost art of letter writing...who'd have thought  in 2013 I'd refer to letter writing as a long lost art. It makes me think of my Mother and how she had been left handed, but she was forced to write right handed. It also makes me think of how she used to use shorthand (do I have to explain what shorthand is in 2013...does anyone even use shorthand anymore?) to mark our Christmas presents. Christmas morning in her sleep deprived coma, she could never read her own shorthand and would struggle to figure out whose presents were whose. She did this every year till she died. When I write, I think of all the time spent practicing my handwriting so that it would look nice, but still express my uniqueness. I think of how I incorporated some of my older sister's very specific flips and flourishes, since I idolized her so...but got irritated with myself every time I used them...I adored and resented her in equal parts. I think of how I grew up left handed in a right handed world at the advent of eraser pens and my left hand smeared the ink across the page leaving a permanent blue smear on my pinkie. I remember the frustration and failure of not being allowed to make the life changing fourth grade leap from pencil to pen. I remember the complete befuddlement and subsequent assumption that it was the nun's hatred of me that put me in the pencil group...I couldn't see how my penmanship was any worse than the pen users, who were so elite they even got to sit in a separate section of the classroom. It's been so long since I've written something on paper that my hand became sore within the first few lines. Fortunately three beautiful daughteruss interuptess allowed my hand some rest. These something inexplicable about writing on paper...the old fashioned way! I still have the same frustrating struggle at the top of the page ...lefty issues...you righties don't know. Perhaps it was being left handed in this world that now makes this have so much emotional resonance. Don't get me wrong I'm not sitting here crying or something...just waxing nostalgic.. I stumbled upon an article or perhaps a website ( I can't remember) of a woman who has spent her life studying handwriting. She claims that you can change your life by changing your handwriting...I tried it for a few days, but I wasn't able to keep up the required time period ( four weeks or something like that, and if you missed a day you had to start the whole thing from the beginning ). What she did talk about though that I found fascinating and relevant to my own experience is her explanation that the side of your brain that types onto a keyboard is the opposite side of the brain that writes long hand and...guess which side is in charge of creative writing...that's right you guessed it...the longhand side. So according to this unnamed woman (who I probably could find if I looked, but won't because I've only got small windows before I have to get up, a window which I am now wasting explaining this thing to no one) this accounts for the writers block ( more like writers molasses) that occurs to people like me, who can compose the wittiest most brilliant things whenever they're doing some mundane task like the dishes, but upon sitting down to the computer to share this brilliance with the masses they've gone ssssslllllow! It's still in there, but you can't quite get it out. Writing on paper, writing anything on paper feels like a creative expression. have you ever just felt like writing something...I mean as in putting letters on a page...watching the swoops and curves and dashes and strokes create full words and then ultimately sentences and then the whole page is filled with these beautiful designs, but they have meaning. I always looked at full pages of writing as either attractive or unattractive...this explains me a lot! I actually have a few different styles of penmanship depending on my mood...if you studied my handwriting, ( like unnamed woman ) you would be able to tell how I was feeling about myself and the world. Actually you wouldn't have to study my handwriting per se...you could just look at it. I have been given my own brand of validation ( which is important to people like me...know what I mean?) Sandra Miller actually writes her books longhand and then transfers them to a computer. So since she's a successful author that means it's o.k. for me to write longhand and then transfer it...well, it means I'm not crazy for trying it...yes I'm getting "permission" from a complete stranger to write in a notebook and then transfer it to a computer...yes it is starting to seem as silly to me as it does to you...onward!

No-Poo, or, Sulfates are the devil's handy work!

That's it I'm going no poo...again!** TMI ALERT** No this isn't like after I had the little one and humpty dumpty's intestinal tract wouldn't go back into place...I mean I'm going back to no shampooing again. EWWWWW! If you don't know what no-poo is crawl out from under your rock, or keep reading even though I'm in a snit of a mood. Snarky is what my husband calls it, but no bother. It's funny how we have a tendency to assume that everyone knows everything we do. It's funny how I assume that I can use the term we...perhaps I really am the only one! That's a scary thought for another time. The idea behind no-poo, (and there are much friendlier gals that explain this on other sites) is that our hair gets oily because we strip the oil off of it with shampoo, and it's overreacting. I don't care for drama, that's why I got a degree in Theatre, ( notice the fancy use of the e at the end )To bring an end to the drama on my head, I'm going no-poo. No really though, when you allow your hair to do what it does naturally it actually is wonderful. It feels better, it has more body, and there is a depth to it's color that isn't achievable for less than a hundred dollars at the salon and then only lasts for two weeks anyway...So if you stop using shampoo on your hair it will return to it's natural equilibrium in regard to oil etc. Unfortunately you do have to go through a transition...like a sprained ankle swells to the size of a basketball, so too will your hair turn into the deep fryer vat at Taco Bell ( who by the way are getting rid of kids meals, which makes me laugh, onward! )For some people the transition is easy, and for some it's downright ugly. Once your hair calms down, it doesn't get oily...well if you didn't have oily hair to begin with, I don't know about you guys. In theory it should work for you too, but maybe just take longer. So you stop shampooing, that's it really. You still bathe, for those of you who were going down that road, and you still massage your scalp, you just don't use shampoo. Some people use conditioner only, that works really well for curly hair, but in my case it negates one of the reasons for no-poo, which is product. I just can't find a product that I'm o.k. with. See I have very thin, baby fine hair, that thinks it might be curly but is afraid to commit. So basically I've been battling my hair all my life. The only time I really liked my hair was when I went no-poo for about a year. Now you say why did I stop? Frankly I don't remember, who can account for the things we are able to convince ourselves of! ( Preposition police ) You can use baking soda ( just a little ) to help with the oily drama, and apple cider vinegar for conditioner. It really is the best conditioner in the world. No kidding...! (So no kidding I tried to emphasize it with three d's but my computer won't let me...it fixes things for me...I don't know how I feel about that)  The vinegar smell does go away, just make sure you have a hair towel and a body towel. Never the twain shall meet. If my husband has been lying to me all this time then God bless him and you need to find one like him. I'll try to find a site that explains no-poo better without all this pesky chit chat. I'm running out of steam so I'll go and find those sites, and leave you with the knowledge that there is a greater reason to go no-poo, or at least sulfate free if nothing else. Which is another post for another time, cuz I'm pooped, hah! I liked this site, it talked about some of the horribleness of chemicals...It's like it's doing the work for me! Hah! I should look into this more!
Oh yeah and here too, but if you're easily scared, just go with the idea that your hair will look nicer.

And just as an exciting teaser...let's take a look at this...I will hop up onto my soapbox about this ridiculousness soon! Just scroll on down to section 15 and freak out...! Get out your protective chemical gear sweetie I need you to do the dishes! I know...it's completely overwhelming...I can't stay on my soapbox for too long, it makes me feel cheated and helpless...so instead I'm gonna go write about my little fantasy world.  Except this time I'm gonna try longhand...more on that later...love ya, but don't wash your dishes without gloves and goggles!

The trouble with tribbles

The trouble with having such an active imagination is the fact that you are able to imagine that you have nothing in common with anyone else. No one else spends all day in the clothes they slept in...no one else spends far too much time on Facebook looking at their friends photos, and believing that this tiny little snippet of life that they've crafted to share with you encapsulates their life, i.e. theirs is fabulous, and they look that good all the time. No one else has writers block when they are sitting at the computer, but can't turn off their brain's amazingly witty banter when they are doing the most mundane of tasks..i.e. if the dishwasher breaks I'll finish my book in a week. No one else yells at their kids when really their kids didn't do anything wrong, it's just one of those days where you beat yourself up for wasting all the creative time you had pre kids. It's an irony ( or is it cuz I can never really use that word correctly ) that having children heightened my creativity, or at least allowed me to access it in ways I hadn't previously, but...I don't have the time to do anything with all these ideas. I digressed...I was complaining, no I was whining...no I was casually pointing out...no I was considering ( in my own convoluted way) the possibility that perhaps at this very moment I am not the only Mother sitting at her computer in the clothes she slept in at 2:30 in the afternoon with a sink full of dishes and two loads of laundry on the couch to be folded and a head full of chapters, a table full of wire and beads putting band aids on my two year old's nipples cuz that's where her imaginary boo boo is ( they are the kind that come off with no pain by the way) Perhaps it is only my imagination that tells me that I am the only one!